I'm The Shinobiest!

The Old Republic doesn’t seem to like my shitty Intel integrated graphics chip set because the graphics in-game are extremely jagged and block your view and you can’t play and :c

The cutscenes are fine — beautiful, in fact. Then the gameplay starts an-

…The fuck is this shi-

Okay, this isn’t right… maybe if I move it a bit…

:l

IT’S CONFIRMED

SFxT DLC is on the disc. The future DLC “release” will just be a key to unlock it on the disc.

You know, this is why I appreciate all you hackers and pirates out there because you guys uncover the dirty bits hidden in the code. I don’t have the skill set or the time to do that shit. So, this is half of a hacker appreciation post.

So, uh, I think I’m sitting this one out, guys. I’ll just wait for Super Turbo Street Fighter x Tekken x Namco: Arcade Edition: Ver. 2013: World Warrior: Clash of the Key Unlock: CASHCOM Limited Edition DLC Upgrade: HD Remix: BEND THE FUCK OVER EDITION SO WE CAN SHOVE THIS CAPITALIST DICK IN YOUR ASSHOLE FUCK YOU CONSUMER

PS3 EXCLUSIVE OF COURSE

Oh wait. Yeah, I am.

• Get a replacement phone for my busted-ass one
• Play with it for three minutes, syncing my Gmail
• Discover I can’t access basic phone settings due to a crippling glitch in the phone
• Verizon employee has never seen anything like it

Guess I’m calling my insurance company again tomorrow. Good thing is the Verizon dude said I might get a free upgrade out of this. I probably won’t though because I have the worst luck in the galaxy.

:l

FUCK

I did the typical angry nerd thing.

• Game announced
• Hate on it based on experiences with predecessors
• Be stubborn at first, promising not to buy it
• More and more information is released on it as it gets closer to release date
• Find yourself going “…that actually looks kind of cool”
• Hype train pulls into your house with less than a month before release
• Want game now

Seriously, I know a lot of people that have personally done this. I guess it’s only a little natural. But let me explain my side.

I think Modern Warfare was and is still a masterpiece. It’s still the best FPS I’ve played this generation. Almost everything about it is perfect, for me. Good campaign, great multiplayer. I still go back to play it once in a while.

Modern Warfare 2 was a mess. Campaign was less cohesive, but the story was still okay; I don’t take too much issue with that like most people. What really killed it was the multiplayer. It was disorganized and so over-the-top that it killed the balance that the game claimed to have. The ability to have shotguns as a secondary is an example. Also, stacking kills on killstreaks. Dumbest shit ever.

Now we have Modern Warfare 3 which promises to fix a lot of the bullshit that was wrong with 2. One big thing they’re doing is greatly reducing the verticality of maps that was retardedly huge in 2. Too many floors — if your team took a multi-tiered building in the map, YOU WON. Now it’s mainly a ground-level affair. Can you think of any non-DLC level on Modern Warfare that was more than two floors? I can only think of one, and that’s Crash, ironically one of my favorite maps. But you know what worked in that level? Balance. True balance. Enemy team take the three-story? Fucking air strike their cunt asses and run up in it.

The customization of classes is a little more fucking sane now, more akin to the first Modern Warfare. You can still do some crazy shit, and it looks like they added another type of armament, like a perk but different. But it’s resembling the Modern Warfare I know and love. It seems like a lot of the Michael Bay factor is gone from it. Which leaves me more than curious.

It comes out in nine days and I’m trading in a few games to Amazon for some credit (fuck Gamestop). Do I bite for the third time in a row (including Black Ops, which for me was a mating of the first two Modern Warfare games with the prominent genes being from MW2)? Do I spend my exceedingly rare game funds on a gamble and risk being butthurt as fuck that I bought ANOTHER GODDAMN CALL OF DUTY GAME? What about another game? If so, what? Halo: CE Anniversary is right around the corner, and I’m very much looking forward to that. It’s $40 which is easier to choke down, plus I’ll be left with about another $40 so I can buy the fucking Season Pass for Gears 3 AND change my Gamertag so I rep my clan. Battlefield 3 looks fun, and despite not seriously playing one since Battlefield: Modern Combat (excluding Battlefield 1943), they haven’t let me down yet; very solid games. Arkham City? Out of the question since I haven’t played Arkham Asylum yet. Skyrim? I never got fully immersed in Morrowind OR Oblivion and don’t consider myself a fan of the Elder Scrolls series, but I definitely respect the games and I’d be lying if I said Skyrim didn’t look fucking amazing. Saints Row: The Third? Maybe. Didn’t beat the second one though. Assassin’s Creed: Revelations? Haven’t played Brotherhood yet. What else is coming out? The rest of November’s releases, which are numerous as fuck, are escaping me now.

Fuck.

Guess I have some thinking to do.

If you really want, feel free to govern how I should spend my money. If I agree with you and do it, you win the thought of knowing your persuasion skills with me are high.